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Forum Zone-2000 • View topic - 3Z Magazin za savremenog muskarca i radoznalu zenu

3Z Magazin za savremenog muskarca i radoznalu zenu

Pažnja, živi pijesak!!!! Ulazite na vlastitu odgovornost...

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3Z Magazin za savremenog muskarca i radoznalu zenu

Postby t_bejbe » 14 Mar 2005, 21:09

e u cast naseg dragog dabra, otvaram ponovo magazin 3Z :mrgreen: cula sam da ima nekih novih zbivanja...

evo od mene, dvije stare dabrove reportaze
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Postby t_bejbe » 14 Mar 2005, 21:10

Bas nisam siguran odakle poceti pa cu od pocetka…

To jutro je pocelo kao i svaku drugo; dok sam sanjao predivno izvajanu zensku figuru kako mi lagano prilazi i usput lagano skida komad po komad odjece bacajuci ga prema meni, i lagano me zatrpavajuci enormnom kolicinom odjece, valjda je bilo zimsko doba pa se dobro utoplila, i bas kada je trebala da skine zadnji dio (priglavke) i konacno mi pridje kako bi… hm… prepoznao lik tog andjela koji me svako jutro zatrpava, sa svih strana zazujase busilice, brusilce, mjesalice i sve one “ženske halatke” (ma jel to zensko ono neda zaspat, a kamol sanjat drugu zenu).

Evo ga opet, 8:00. Radnici su visli sa prozora, balkona, krova, oluka, virili kroz prozore, vrata, dimnjak, posebno napravljene rupe u tu svrhu. Ma gdje god pogledas i udjes mozes naci neku vrstu ili podvrstu majstora. Natjerah se nekako da i ovo jutro propustim upoznavanje. I dok sam bolno otvarao oci krenuh obaviti jutarnju toaletu (znate vec pranje r..u, pisanje, umivanje, pranje z..a isl.), trazio sam ga rukom, pa drugom, pa sa obje. NESTAO JE!!! … NEMA MI SPISKA!!! … Izgleda ovog jutra im nema sve po spisku, te dok sam ulazio u WC, promrsih nekoliko rijeci dobrodoslice, cisto za sebe, onoliko koliko sam se mogao sjetiti onako na standby-u, jer IZGUBIO SAM SPISAK!!! Iznenada, negdje iz dubine, zacuh:”Kome majku!?”. Vidi sad ovo! Sam sam. Nigdje nikog. Kad ono opet:”Kome majku!?” , al se ovaj put iz masine za ves pojavi nekakva cupava glava i prljave ruke. “Uh, j te koliki pauk”, mislim se u sebi, kad se pojavi i trup i noge i… nije bilo vise. Radnik! Iz masine za ves!! Endemska vrsta!!! Kaže on meni:”Zvinte, se izgubio”, i ode.

I tako, obavim ja sve svoje gradjanske duznosti i pocnem se spremati za planinu. I samo sto sam poceo, kad haj radnicima po dorucak, pa haj u apoteku, pa haj na intervju na OBN, pa vozi tetku al tetka nece nego evo ti spisak, i taman se ponado da je onaj moj, kad ono haj na pijacu. Pa do kad vise!!!??? Do 15:00.Onda:

•zavrsavaj spremanje,

•trci na stanicu,

•ja dolazim - autobus odlazi,

•cekamo 1h,

•pocinje kisa,

•u busu nam je dosadno pa grupi koja je vec u domu, tacnije tanji, javljamo da necemo doci jer sam ja kriv. Iz slusalice zacusmo nesto slicno onom mom spisku pa odlucismo da je bolje da kazemo istinu

•javljaju da cekam punicu, jer bom ona ce imat prevoz pa cemo zajedno u isti dom da cuvamo njeno zlato, koje mi porucuje da mi je bolje da izvrsim harakiri

•sreca pogresno shvatio (samo ono za punicu), ona odlazi a ja dolazim, cuvamo na smjenu pa radim drugu

•prenose mi da je domar porucio dace mi noge polomiti

•punica me odredjuje za vodju puta i ispituje o poznavanju terena

•PUNICA ME POHVALJUJE I KAZE DA SAM JOJ SAD MALO DRAZI

•e tu mi prestaju pehovi, otjera ih punana, ko bi reko?????

I tako krenusmo sumskim putem kojim neprijatelj prirode izvalci drvo. I dok se tako truckamo sumskim putem, lagano ulazimo u planinu. A za dobrodoslicu magla. Moze se rezat nozem. Razletismo se sa bajonetima i macetam….sjek fic fis cak cak sjec fju fju …..aaaaaaaaaa ne po vratu…..ups izvini (stas ne vidi se ni prst pred okom a kamol vrat…)…..sjec fis sjec cak cak….malo se ko razbistri. Izgubili se! Ma nismo imali gdje skrenuti, osim s puta. Tjesim se da se nismo zalutali jer bi me draga punana rastrgnula, a bila bi steta. Pa tek me pocela “voljeti”. Elem, na putu smo. Pravom. Sve bi izmjenjeno od onda kad sam zadnji put tuda prolazio. Iskrci bagra sve sto stigne. Stigosmo nekako pa ranceve na ledja, stapove u ruke, put pod noge… Zuji agregat kroz mrak, prozori svjetle, pjesma, siz… Obradovase nam se. Kako kome.

Primjetio sam da sjedi sama, puši, i ispija nekakvu brlju antraksovicu, sto je ponese JEDNA BAKSUZ. Kaze stari mu napravio, umjesto mlijeka, pa ponio SAMO 2 litra, za licne potrebe. Da se nadje. Kasnije ce, od samo jednog litra, pola doma pasti pod sto. Pijuckala je i pusila. Bijase crna, kratko osisana. Zvala se Maja i sjedila je sama u klupi, ja joj pridjoh i prosuh neki fazon glupi. Radi u… kako ono bjese… elem neka skracenica stranskije organizacija. Hodala bi po planini al nema skim. Roveci po netu slucajno naletila na Zone i tamo ostala. Nije cak ni pjevala. kaze ne zna niti jednu pjesmu. Ima ona radio al… valjda nema zvucnike. Trazila je malo vremena da se uklopi. I stvarno, izgledala je ko Maja u zemlji cudovista. To vece, onako od oka, Maja je ispušila 2 – 3 kutije cigara.

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Postby t_bejbe » 14 Mar 2005, 21:13

Sinoc, u 22:15, izmedju srednje umjetnicke skole i I gimnazije, u blizini stecka, doslo je do uznemiravanja javnog reda i mira neidentificiranim zvucnim signalom. Osim uznemirenosti gradjana drugih posljedica nije bilo. Uvidjaj su izvrsili pripadnici PU Centar. Na licu mjesta su zatekli jedva punoljetnu Dj.T. za koju su, daljom obradom utvrdili da je odgovorna za narusavanje javnog reda i mira. Gore navedena je organima poznata po ranijim slicnim ispadima. T je posjedovala papire o psihickoj neuracunljivosti te je pustena uz opomenu.

Najnovijim istraživanjim, koja su vršili njeni najbliži, utvrdeno je da T pod uticajem sode proizvodi takve zvucne vibracije, oscilacije i kojekakve druge kerefeke, koje se po nekim mjerenjim procjenjuju na jacinu od 1 LMx*. Pored toga sto je u stanju da proizvede jacinu od 1LMx, postoji mogucnost da su posljedice od 1LMx jednake posljedicama koje nastaju od 1 LM.

Prema informacijama koje smo dobili, T ce, do kraja istrazivanja, dobiti zabranu pristupa svim gaziranim picima. Ova mjera se objasnjava kao mjera poduzeta u cilju zastite male djece, javnog reda i mira, u nekim situacijama to prelazi u zastitu prava na sluh i zivot, a cak se ide i na extremne situacije kada to postaje pitanje nacionalne sigurnosti.

* 1 LM – jedinica za jedan leptirov mah, nastala je iz teorije / vjerovanja da kada leptir jednom zamahne krilima u kini dovodi do tajfuna i orkana na floridi... u slucajevima kada tu snagu izaziva NEKI drugi zivi stvor obiljezava se sa X.
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Postby nona » 14 Mar 2005, 23:38

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Postby dabar » 21 Mar 2005, 13:28

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Postby dabar » 22 Mar 2005, 00:28





poslije nas svejedno vam je u kojoj brzini krecete i vozite, a jos manje je vazno kojom stranom i trakom idete
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Postby maja » 22 Mar 2005, 02:48

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

monstrume! Image
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Postby t_bejbe » 22 Mar 2005, 11:10

hajd sad priznajte, sta je to uradila?
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Postby maja » 22 Mar 2005, 17:59

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Postby dabar » 22 Mar 2005, 19:05




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Postby t_bejbe » 23 Mar 2005, 00:33

hocemo to sada svugdje ovu pjesmu okacit?????? :evil:
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Postby dabar » 23 Mar 2005, 11:01

haj ti ako hos...... meni se nesto neda skakat po forumu i..... :roll: ..... svasta..... ja ti pitanja :roll:
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Postby dabar » 30 Mar 2005, 10:59









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Postby keno » 30 Mar 2005, 13:52

u da ti j... :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:
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Postby brslo » 06 Apr 2005, 19:19

Znate li ko je stvarno spasio i dotjerao ovaj forum?
Armin !
Da ne bi griješili kao ja, pa onda ispravljali post, kao ja.
Dakle, sve pohvale uputiti Aminu (Nona izvini ali tako je), je li vam ovo nešto poznato: po bijelom svijetu tražimo pomoć, a imamo našeg čovjeka koji zna i koji je tu sa nama.
Ajd' da utješimo i Nonu, trudio se, ali zbog jednog previda izgubio je dosta živaca i vremena, pa se moramo zahvaliti i njemu, ipak je on naš admin.
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